The day I met my boyfriend I knew he was something special the minute he walked into the back corner of the bar he manages. He was tall, built, handsome, but most of all kind and sweet. I didn't know I would be falling head over heels for him, but I knew I would do anything in my power to make sure he stayed part of my life. So I did what any desperate girl in love at first sight does, added him to Facebook.
A few months later, thousands of texts, hundreds of calls, and multiple trips, one of us had to make the big ole LDR decision of who is moving. I chose to move to him because well... California duh. However mainly because I cannot go an hour without thinking of him and yearned to be by his side every time I woke up. Yesterday was one of the many days I had a full on breakdown. Crying like a child, throwing a tantrum, contemplating my whole life. Our life, my dogs life. Gosh I may as well have been tossed into the state hospital and locked up for being emotionally crazed. Many of you who are in an LRD understand this feeling. The feeling of superior loneliness. Even when you are surrounded by all the ones you love. That one person is not there to comfort you, and you are lonely in a room full of people. Your heart aches and cries for just the touch of that persons face, and you ask yourself if you can possibly take another year of this. People in LDRs wake up every morning and count down the days, hours and minutes till you get to see them again. It's a struggle sometimes to maintain sanity.
The best part about my LDR is that if anything were to happen we are only a plane flight away. My heart breaks for military spouses who cannot do this. I seriously have no clue how they pull through at times. I give them my utter respect because I bet those breakdowns are worse than my own!
Running a business, running this relationship, and just getting through the day is so hard at times. Not only for me but for everyone. Yesterday was just another day marked off in the books, another bad day that is only a memory, another day closer to being with the one I love. Every day people tell me to just be strong, but I'm here to tell everyone and especially those in an LDR that it is okay to not always be strong. It is okay to cry, to breakdown, to throw a tantrum. It actually feels better. Tomorrow is another day, so make the best of today, and if that means crying and kicking and screaming then do just that.
Dating my boyfriend has made me appreciate the moments we are together. We take in every single minute we are near each other. We make hours feel like months. This is why we have something special, because the pain of being apart makes us appreciate the moments we are together. So this is me, telling you all, when you are having a down and out day, and your heart is missing someone so dearly, it is okay to go a little apeshit!
Photo Courtesy of April Styles Photography
No comments:
Post a Comment