Long Distance Relationshits: The Struggle is Real

There is that good ole saying that people tell you to comfort you when you are in a LDR (Long Distance Relationship), "Absence makes the heart grow fonder, darling." Yeah well, although it does do that, it also makes you go apeshit from time to time too.

The day I met my boyfriend I knew he was something special the minute he walked into the back corner of the bar he manages. He was tall, built, handsome, but most of all kind and sweet. I didn't know I would be falling head over heels for him, but I knew I would do anything in my power to make sure he stayed part of my life. So I did what any desperate girl in love at first sight does, added him to Facebook.

A few months later, thousands of texts, hundreds of calls, and multiple trips, one of us had to make the big ole LDR decision of who is moving. I chose to move to him because well... California duh. However mainly because I cannot go an hour without thinking of him and yearned to be by his side every time I woke up. Yesterday was one of the many days I had a full on breakdown. Crying like a child, throwing a tantrum, contemplating my whole life. Our life, my dogs life. Gosh I may as well have been tossed into the state hospital and locked up for being emotionally crazed. Many of you who are in an LRD understand this feeling. The feeling of superior loneliness. Even when you are surrounded by all the ones you love. That one person is not there to comfort you, and you are lonely in a room full of people. Your heart aches and cries for just the touch of that persons face, and you ask yourself if you can possibly take another year of this. People in LDRs wake up every morning and count down the days, hours and minutes till you get to see them again. It's a struggle sometimes to maintain sanity.

The best part about my LDR is that if anything were to happen we are only a plane flight away. My heart breaks for military spouses who cannot do this. I seriously have no clue how they pull through at times. I give them my utter respect because I bet those breakdowns are worse than my own!

Running a business, running this relationship, and just getting through the day is so hard at times. Not only for me but for everyone. Yesterday was just another day marked off in the books, another bad day that is only a memory, another day closer to being with the one I love. Every day people tell me to just be strong, but I'm here to tell everyone and especially those in an LDR that it is okay to not always be strong. It is okay to cry, to breakdown, to throw a tantrum. It actually feels better. Tomorrow is another day, so make the best of today, and if that means crying and kicking and screaming then do just that.

Dating my boyfriend has made me appreciate the moments we are together. We take in every single minute we are near each other. We make hours feel like months. This is why we have something special, because the pain of being apart makes us appreciate the moments we are together. So this is me, telling you all,  when you are having a down and out day, and your heart is missing someone so dearly, it is okay to go a little apeshit!

Photo Courtesy of April Styles Photography

Hey YOU! Having a craptastic day? Read this right MEOW!

Hey you! Yes you, I know something about you. Weird right!? Well I do. I know that you are going through something tough in your life and may be having a hard time remaining positive.

I like to think of myself as a pretty positive and happy person, but yesterday sure broke me. I let things that were out of my control, control me, and I lost my shit. Literally, I lost my keys and tore up the house looking for them. Which ended up in me falling to my knees and crying like a baby until nothing was left to cry. I tried to talk to my boyfriend about it, but I just became more upset, and possibly upset him too, because the main problem was ME and I was having a hard time accepting that. I allowed myself to be taken over by the circumstances of a situation that I could do nothing about. But guess what? We can do something about it! YES we can! I woke up this morning depressed and rolled over to go back to sleep, when I thought, "Get your ass up, get out of bed and DO SOMETHING." Just do something. This is the beginning of learning how to cope when the whole world just keeps telling you no.

Well, after getting myself together, I put together a little list of things to help you stay positive in a not so positive situation. I promise you, if you do these things you will have a hard time not smiling and realizing, that little crappy mountain you are climbing is really just a little crappy hill. 

1. TELL YOURSELF YOU ARE SEXY AND WORTH IT

This is so cliche but it works! Go ahead look in that mirror, you see those bags under your eyes, those grey hairs, that zit? I sure do, and guess what? That makes me perfect, raggedy hair and all. I am me, you are you, we are perfect, sexy, and worth it. Now look in that mirror and say it out loud, yes say it out loud. "I am amazing, I really am, I am perfect the way I am. Society don't define me, I define me, and I am worth all the happiness in the world." Now believe it because I believe you are. 

2. EAT THAT DAMN CUPCAKE

Okay, I'm just putting it out there, one cupcake is not going to add 10 pounds to you. Now indulge in that guilty pleasure. It will make you feel amazeballs! Now I am off to the mall to indulge in the cupcake shop there! YUMMO!! 

3. TREAT YOURSELF

Now I am not saying book an expensive vacation you cannot afford to the Bahamas, but go buy yourself something, something small, something like a new shirt you have your eye on. Stop thinking you need to please others, just stop that right now, please yourself first. 

4. MAKE A LIST AND GET IT DONE

There is something about checking things off a list that fuels me to be happy. Make a small list of things you want to accomplish, and make it a goal to check off everything from that list. You will feel a lot better about yourself! Now git er' done!  

5. ORGANIZE SOMETHING

I don't care what it is just organize it. You will feel refreshed! 

6. UNDERSTAND, ACCEPT, AND APPRECIATE 

Getting serious here, these three things are a must. You must understand that you are not always in control of the situation you are in, but you are in control of how you handle it. My finances are a wreck, I acted like a little baby yesterday and blamed everyone but myself. Today I am pulling out my Dave Ramsey books from school and getting myself back in control. Letting the situation define you accomplishes nothing. Take control of the only thing you can, yourself. 

Accept that you will be okay. Look at the situation and realise that every obstacle today will eventually be only a memory tomorrow. Accept the situation and handle it. The only hand we are given in this life is the one at the end of our arms. Accept that and shine on! 

Finally, appreciate the things you do have. I woke up this morning and realised I have a good family, a nice little business, cool clients that text me weird and funny things at 6AM and wake me up, and an amazing out of the world boyfriend who not only listens to me complain about everything going wrong, but helps me overcome all my little hills. Appreciate how great the cold air feels on your lungs when you are outside. Appreciate that hot tea your drinking. Appreciate yourself, and all your accomplishments, even if they are small. 

Now that you made it through that list it is up to YOU to make a change. In a world that will rain on you whenever it gets a chance, learn to get a little wet in it and DANCE. Dance until this crappy little day starts to shine. Now shine on, because you are worthy of happiness! And don't forget that cupcake!