Alright, let’s just start this off with why I am writing
this today. Online dating can be a fun, unique, and non-traditional way of
meeting the love of your life. If you are not looking for love then it is a
great way to improve your dating skills, or just have a good time while meeting
new people. However, where there is light, there is darkness. I am writing this
blog to help ensure that what has happened to me prevents a similar situation from
happening to anyone else.
Writing this blog has been a humiliating and embarrassing
experience for me. I didn’t want to write this nor let anyone really know what
happened to me because I am ashamed of the situation and that I myself could
have prevented it. Yet, if I can help another person stay safe by sharing my
story then my humility is completely worth it.
Here is the story of my survival, when online dating took a
dark turn…
Tuesday morning was like any other morning. I awoke at 5 am
for cross fit, worked, and prepared myself to go car hunting later on in the
day. A guy I had met online and was emailing, messaging, and talking too for quite
a while on and off, had contacted me asking to meet up. I had turned down his
offers to meet up many times before because I was just never really attracted
to him, but his persistence paid off and I agreed to meet anyways. Previously
he had wanted me to come to his house as a date, and he would cook me dinner
and we’d share wine. However I knew better than to meet a guy at his house on a
first date, so I opted for a local restaurant. One of the main turn offs about
this guy was his constant asking of me to come to his house when the time was
later than 11pm. Knowing a little about men, I knew any “hanging out” after 9pm
is mostly a summons for a booty call. So I was surprised when he agreed to meet
at a reasonable time.
I am a very religiously spiritual person, and I pray about
every decision I make. I had been praying for this date and something inside me
was screaming at me to not go. I kept telling myself, something is wrong here,
just wait and be patient with the Lord and he will put the perfect man in your
life. Then greed kicked in and I told myself, “Ah, what the hell, what’s the
worst that can go wrong?” Little did I know, this man I had been getting to
know was harvesting a darker ulterior motive, and dinner at a local restaurant was
the last thing on his mind.
I show up at the restaurant and sit at the bar waiting for
this guy to show up. Once he does, I notice he is a tad different looking from what I remember in the photos. I now believe that his profile photos were
from when he was younger. He had told me he was 27, but there is no way this
guy was 27. He seemed to be mid 30’s, but I brushed it off and continued with
the date. He told me he was a nurse practitioner and was working on a book.
Seemed like a respectable career, and he talked very well. I began to slowly
let my guard down, so when we decided to move from the restaurant to a small
pub for drinks, I began to feel a little more comfortable with him. Getting in
our cars before heading to the pub, he slyly says, “Hey let’s stop by my house real quick I need to grab
something, and you can meet my dog.” By this time I felt that stopping by his
house for a minute would be okay, and I love animals.
We get to his house, actually a small one bedroom apartment
complex on the south part of Springs. For being a nurse practitioner, an
author, and a self-proposed “celebrity” in the psychical therapy world, he sure
didn’t live like it. The apartment was messy and cluttered, his dog was cute though.
I figured, well the guy is a man and men can be messy. He pours me a glass of
wine, and I think to myself, “Aren’t we leaving soon?” He pours himself one and
sits down next to me on his couch. At this moment he leans in to kiss me, and I
pull away and sort of toss off an awkward laugh. Then without missing a beat he
says to me, “You know what would taste great?” …pause…”My cock in your mouth.”
Now I can see how at this point his bluntness can be sort of “humorous” to
anyone who uses such terms to describe oral sex. However I didn’t find it funny
and I anxiously laughed and said, “What the hell? Are you Fu***** kidding me?”
and with a serious face, he looked at me and said, “I bought you a drink at the
restaurant, the least you could do is suck my di**.” Appalled I shot back at
him, “You are freaking crazy!” That triggered something in him and as I was getting
up he pushed me back down. This is when panic set in and I jumped up and ran
for my purse. He was yelling at me, “You are nothing but an unappreciative little
bit**, a dirty whore, a nothing, no man will want you, your trash. Get the fu**
out of my house, get the fu** out now.” In a panic I yelled back, “I am trying
too, you are a psychopath.” At this moment he swung for my face and slapped me,
then came at me with both hands as if to choke me. Luckily I pushed him away
hard enough that I was able to run to the door, down the stairs and to my car.
While driving he had the nerve to text me, and tell me that he would appreciate
it if I never contacted him again. I got away.
I did not contact the police, why? I was ashamed. I drove
around crying and in shock until earlier that morning when I contacted one of
the most trusted guys I am blessed to have in my life. By the time I contacted
him it was about 4 am and to my surprise he answered. By having him message me
back at one of the worst moments in my life, I realized this guy is the type of
guy I had been searching for the whole time yet was wasting my time with online
memberships. And he honestly probably saved me from doing something dumb, by
reassuring me that I have people in my life that I can turn too.
I rid myself of all
the information I had about the guy who attacked me. I want nothing to do with
him, but am a fool for not reporting him, because his next victim may not be so
strong.
I am lucky. If it wasn't for the grace of God I may
not have even made it out of there. We read about these things all the time, we
watch them on TV. We hear about women and men who are abducted, and
never return. However we never put into reality that it is real and is
happening every day. I could have been raped, killed, or severely hurt because
I neglected to trust my instincts and go against the grain. I am lucky to be
alive.
Now I want to share with you all some advice to help make
your online dating safe.
-If you Google a person’s name and you cannot find absolutely
anything about the person, nothing, no social media outlets, blogs, Facebook,
anything, then the person gave you a false name. Stop contact.
-Never go to a person’s house you are meeting for the first
time.
-Never indulge in more than three alcoholic beverages on a
first date.
-Always take separate cars.
-If they seem too good to be true they probably are.
-If they ask you to hangout after 9PM decline the offer.
-Never give up too much information about yourself or where
you live.
-Most importantly, if your initial instincts are screaming at
you to not do something, listen to them. Gut instincts are the most valuable
traits we as spiritual creatures have.
Not everyone online is out to hurt you, I have met up and
become good friends with a lot of people I have met on dating websites. However
there are predators out there, and fortunately I am here another day to help
share with you my story and how I almost didn't get away.
If you have any more advice to give please feel free to
share it in the comments section below.
Thank you all and safe travels- Natasha Rose
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| "Where there is Light, there is also Darkness" |
