Sunday, September 15, 2013

Finding the me in Meaning

            As I sat down to write this blog I cracked the window to my office, started the coffee pot, checked my emails, and began the day as I usually do. The scent of fall was coming through my window so like every year, I put on my traditional fall music which consists of mainly of contemporary blues songs such as Duffy’s “Warwick Avenue.” The word ‘meaningful’ has been on my mind all day, and as I sat here soaking in the change of season, I was reminded that apart from God, all the reality I am soaking up is meaningless. Although I understand that everything is utterly meaningless without God, when does something become meaningful?
            The NIV version of the Bibles begins with the verse, “’Meaningless! Meaningless!’ says the Teacher. ‘Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless’” (1:2). In a world where ‘the eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing’ (Ecc. 1:8, NIV), where do we find meaning?  I sat and pondered on these two questions for a while, and as I watched the sky change a small rainbow appeared out of a dark cloud. There had been no rain today, only clouds filled the sky, but this tiny rainbow peeked through. This is when I remembered the promise the Lord had made to his people, this is also when I stumbled upon my own realization to the meaning of life, and why it is meaningful to me.
            In an American society that is constantly searching for the meaning of life I decided to look up the definition of the American Dream. The Merriam Webster Online Encyclopedia states that this dream is, “an American social ideal that stresses egalitarianism and especially material prosperity.” How sad to realize that the society we live in determines success and meaning through the prosperity of one’s material possession rather than how knowledgeable one is to the Word of God. If Ecclesiastes 12:13 tells us “fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind,” then why do we work so hard to satisfy our own personal wealth with material riches rather than seek God in all we do? Just as the NLV version of Proverbs 3:6 tells us, “seek his will in all you do, and he will make straight your paths.’ The world as a whole has become rich of the earth and poor of the soul, and if everything apart from God is meaningless, then no wonder we are in a continual quest for the meaning of life.
            As I watched the rainbow outside my window start to fade, I also remembered Colorado. This last week I was asked to come home and help take care of my mother who had just had cosmetic surgery on her face, liposuction. Although I laughed and told my brother, “Vanities, Vanities,” I was still a little shocked in my hesitance to actually come home. I thought to myself, I cannot just up and leave home, what will my clients think when they don’t see their “sneak peaks’ and albums being finished, I can't just leave my belongings behind and take off. My heart broke in half as the Lord put his word into my heart. What is so important of all these earthly possessions that I cannot just up and leave home for, and of what meaning do these material possessions have to me? Nothing, they are of no meaning, however the world has taught me to believe they hold meaning, substance, and value. However when the Lord calls me home, do I ask him, “Can my laptop come?”
            The meaning of life, without God, is like the rainbow. It is there for a while, makes us happy, then quickly fades, leaving us looking for the day we find another one. However the world is not completely void of meaning. The Lord gives us meaning in life, but unless we seek it through him, it will be like ‘chasing after the wind’, we will never find it.
            In my life I find meaning in other people and my work. I find that when I reach out to others and share my stories about the gospel, and give them the stepping stones they need to seek the Lord, I find meaning. My mother and father are meaningful to me because they set the foundation of my journey with Christ in place and helped me find the Lord in the darkest areas of my life. I have found meaning in the littlest thing, such as a morning breeze, or a cup of coffee. Ultimately, I have found meaning in everything that I have done while seeking the Lord in all that I do.  Therefore when does something become meaningful in such a meaningless world, and where do we find it? The beginning of a meaningful life starts at the heart of wisdom, wisdom starts at the beginning of knowledge of the Lord, and seeking that knowledge becomes meaning. Only God brings meaning and it can be found in all that glorifies his name.

            As I sat down to conclude this blog I cracked the window to my office, started the coffee pot, checked my emails, and ended the day as I usually do, but with a new meaning.

Coffee with Meaning

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Give me a Revelation

"When it comes to the wisdom I have received I have nothing without Him" - Natasha Rose

The scripture I based the creation of this image on is found in 1 Corinthians 2:10 of the New American Standard Bible, “For to us God revealed them through the Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God.” New things are being constantly revealed to us. Sometimes when I am taking a photo I look at it and see it is not what I was looking for, so I search for other ways to produce the image by seeking the knowledge of someone with more understanding than me. Once the knowledge is provided to me, the way in which I need to capture an image is then revealed to me. It often comes as that “Ah ha” moment. As spiritual beings we are always seeking ways in which to better understand the supernatural realm. We are always in a divine spiritual search for something more. When we call on the help of the Holy Spirit for things in which we do not understand, the Spirit will search even the depths of YHWH (God) in order to bring us divine knowledge on our behalf.

We are all stuck in a spiritual battle, and so many of us are walking around in a world painted only in black and white. Because of our lack of understanding we oftentimes neglect to see the colorful and vibrant life that surrounds us. If we could only let go of what binds us to this world and seek which is of the Spirit then so much more can be revealed to us then which we choose to understand.


"Reveal" A Self Portrait | Copyright 2013 | NatashaRosePhotography.com


Third Day's "Give me a Revelation" is a perfect fit to this photo blog. Listen to them by clicking on this link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEn74zP1glQ

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Fitting In: Balancing Work, School, and God


An About Me Introduction

Let’s get this straight. I am not the perfect Christian, and I am by far not the best photographer to ever walk this earth. I don’t attend church every Sunday, and for being a Biblical Studies/ Theology major, I am defiantly not the best student. I turn in work late, I have bad habits, I enjoy a glass of wine. I’m a sinner, and I know that. However I do all I can to glorify the Lord in all I do.

Let’s take this back to the beginning of my life. When I was born my dad went to his backyard, Lion King Simba style raised me into the air, and offered me up to the Lord. Ever since then my life has been a constant battle between good and evil, but whose life isn’t. I will be straight up and honest with you, I struggled with suicidal thoughts and actions through my youth, yearned for death, blamed God for my pain, and drank. A lot. I drank so much at one point in my life I’m surprised I didn’t fall asleep and never wake up.  After all I was having fun, and best of all I fit in. I denied anything was wrong with me, but God had a different plan, a more perfect plan.

I'm only telling you this back history so you know that I too have and had my own personal demons just like everyone else.

I struggled to find my faith, myself, and my part in this life. I was once a Catholic, converted to Christianity, and as of lately found my place and beliefs as a Messianic Jew. As you can see by my movement through religious affiliations, I am not here to judge you for what religion you choose to follow. Religion didn’t make a mark for quite some time anyways. Hard to believe that Adam and Eve, Abraham, and a lot of the people we hear about in the Old Testament were not part of any religion, but it’s true. Anywhoo, I am not here to bring up a religious argument on whether or not Abraham was Jewish. I am here to show you how I found my path in life.

I have always been interested in photography, but it was always such an expensive art to get into. I usually settled for my phone or a point and shoot to please my passion. Also, everyone I knew in high school, grew up to become a photographer. I wanted to be different, so I became a cake decorator. Well that passion died, and my passion for photography still burned inside me. I picked up my first DSLR as a gift from my boyfriend for my birthday almost a year ago. It was hard at first. I struggled to fit in with all the seasoned photographers and some that I thought were my friends went on to slander my name, and try to degrade my business. However my skin was thick, my ethics were strong, and my intentions remained good, so I said nothing back and moved on. 

Around the same time I also began school at CCU in Colorado Springs. I took on a very challenging degree but felt called to it. Everyone who knew me in the past laughed when I mention my degree was is in Biblical Studies and Theology. Partially because I was such a wild child/adult in my early 20’s. I don’t mind them laughing, I love studying religion, I love glorifying God, but now I don’t fit in. I mean come on, I am a photographer perusing a theology degree, I jump at the moment to talk about God, Scripture, Religion and Photos, sometimes I cant stop because I love it so much... how different can those two fields be? Come to find out not so different at all.

It’s been almost a year since I have been photographing people as a profession, and I am now finding myself busier than ever. My life has become a balancing act. I have moved from Colorado to Rapid City South Dakota, and from South Dakota to Nebraska, and now in a month I will be moving again. It’s been hard to balance school and life, let alone finding a way to bring God into all of this as well. Funny how the one most important thing in my life is the one thing I couldn't find time for.  I pray every night, I know the Bible from beginning to end, I thank God for all the good times, but I just couldn’t seem to find Him in my work anymore, I felt like I was loosing Him, the one thing that completed me, saved me, listened to me, was drifting from me, and work was paying the bills, right?. So this is when I decided to drop out of college and go full time with photography… or that’s what I thought.

I told a few trusted togs that I was going to drop out, and they were not happy with that choice. After a very long talk with a few of them I was inspired to take a different approach to what I do. And quite honestly instead of me finding a perfect balance the perfect balance found me. They advised me to start a blog, maybe journal a few of my struggles, and use my photography to document them. God used them to bring me back to Him! It was a brilliant idea, and now here I am. Still in school, still doing photography and have found a way to incorporate my faith, my God and my degree into doing what I was called to do. Just when I thought I couldn't find God, He found me! This sparked a new passion in me, a will to pursue something so challenging, yet so fulfilling. I have only just begun, yet I am happier than I have ever been. And I now can say I have found my perfect balance, all while bringing glory to a perfect God.

I am not here to convert you, to tell you who and what to believe, or to shame you. Just merely to tell you a little about my life story and share some of my work. Some of you will hate this blog, some will laugh at it, and some may enjoy it. It’s not a how to, or a why I am so perfect at what I do, or why you should seek faith. It’s just the beginning of a journal that tells the world, when you are struggling to find a way in life, keep going, pursue your passion, and never give up. You never know when your way will actually find you.
 
Above: A self portrait I named: "Glorify"